By the time im writing this, was currently listening to Mad about the boy by Dinah Washington. Still remember there are once, i play this song out loud at the volume of 42 stereo in my house at one fine day. All of sudden my 2 bff, Nik Ili Aifaa & Emelia Marlina terjah my house and mengucap 10x kat pintu masuk seeing their friend kemaruk lagu 50-an. LOL. An old haunted song that i personally fall in love with. Listen it yourself, and you will get me.
Straight to the point, kalo i da dgr lagu cenggini obviously, current mood = loved :) Dear digital diary, after a month of devastating i am now happy because i managed to eliminates the confused of self belonging feeling that always revolves around me. After having a month gap, baru aku sedar, we can live without each other but we are not happy with it. Neither of us. Why shud we pleased everybody in deciding our own future? Personally i da sangat penat na dgr ckp2 org busuk ati yang ta abes2 cube na judge our relationship when they know exactly nothing.
Aku da tanamkan dalam hati, aku da ta kn amek pusing ckp2 org sbb aku lebey tahu. Maybe boyf dorank jauh lebey kaya, hensem, belajar tinggi sampai ke negeri cina, sopan santun, romantik abis, & please put all the good phrases here sbb tu dorank ta abes2 na judge boyf org laen. Tapela,kalo boyf aku ta hensem, miskin, blaja pon kat uitm je, ta romantik, ta sopan santun, tp on top of it, i see imperfect person like him perfectly. Always bear in mind, nobody's perfect. So kalo ade manusia yg slalu riak spouse die itu sangat perfect flying colors with all the characteristics stated above, trust me there must be something lack somewhere. Jadi bersyukurlah dgn apa yg ade.
The rest of the post below is strictly personal, please dont waste your time by reading it :)
Today saya da officially get back dgn sidia balik. Tp die kate na wat a proper declaration on our next date. Da sebulan break, tana main sambung on da fon jew. Ta berseni btul. Saya setuju dgn sidia :) So at the time being ni i masih bole dikira sbg single lg larh kan cik jiji? huhu, Boley demand mintak memacam time proposal date t kan? Weeeee Na u dtg jemput depan uma, bagi i a bouquet of roses, bukak kn pintu keta, na pg candlelite diner ngan u, pg i-city sesame amek gmbar byk2, then na tgk midnite movie ngan u sambil mkn haagen dazs pastu balik senyum sampai telinga. Okaaay rindu cukup!!
Lagi 3 days kt genap 1 tahun 2 bulan. I na bermuhasabah diri supaya we can do better this time. My fault is that i always highlight on your bad sides, never notice your good sides. Dr Fadzilah Kamsah ckp untuk menjana pemikiran yg waras untuk buat decision sumtimes kt kne list down baik buruk org tersebut. I rasa hari2 pon i da mengamuk n kutuk2 all your bad sides, so today i muhasabah diri na list down, 10 things that I like about you :)
- I loike it when u panggil i sayang tanpa sedikit pon rasa segan silu. Mase wedding abg ata, i tgh duk kat dlm uma pastu tetibe je dgr suara u yg kat canopy lua uma bole panggil "sayang" kuat2 sampai 23 makcik, remaja pompuan and kanak2 yg ader kat lokasi kejadian pandang u, which is all your cuzzie kowt. Walaupun sumer org pandang, u dgn muka selamba panggil lagi ajak i makan sedangkan i da blushing in red kat dlm umah itu.
- I loike it when you bekerja keras untuk i. I tau dkt tmpt kerja baru ni everyday u amek 4hours OT. 7 to 7. Sabtu pon keje. Wpun u taley lari dari tgjwb menanggung fam u, tp u ta pnh lupakan kebajikan i... I tau, OT tuh sbnrnya tuk menampung segala demand i & future kt kan.. u dont have to do that :'( Most importantly, take a good care of urself... Mak i penah ckp kalo na tgk lelaki tu bertanggungjwb dgn kt ke ta lps kawen t, first skali tgk camne die lunaskan tgjwb die kat parents die. Looking at you, yg bagi ur first gaji 100% kat mak u, explain its all...
- I loike it when u sangat manja dengan i. Pak Su lah katakan... I tau sume orang cakap mulut u macam longkang. I indeed agree with them. U mmg ta reti control mulut kan kalo marah orang?? I da notice mase memula kapel lg, u sgt baran orangnya.. tp all the way through times i can see your effort untuk berubah because u tau i dont like that kind of attitude. Wpun dgn org laen u cenggitu, tp dgn i u cume membebel sekejap & diam je kalo marah sbb i tau u punya manja i sorang saje bole rasa :) Mak ckp, org muda mmg berdarah panas. Macam ayah i, sampai skrg pon ta penah die tinggi suara ngan mak i n org yg die syg, tp kalo tgk die mengamuk dengan staff or org lua ke fuihh kt yg tgk ni na bersin pon ta brani. But dat doesn't mean ayah i jahat kan? Begitu jugak you.
- I loike it when u said i look pretty without make-up. I think, out of my past boyf u sorang je yg penah tgk me at my very best & at my very worst. Kadang2 penat je make-up tebal2 tp u lagi prefer my natural beauty face. Musim tade jerawat bolela sayang... I pon suke ble u compliment i, u ckp u suka kalo i pake itu ini. Wpun fashion sense kt sgtlah berbeda but at least i felt warmth gratitude sbb i tau ape yg u suke & ape yg u ta suke. Kalo certain org boyf die asyik ckp u look pretty in everything, tapi dkt blkg usha pompuan laen sbb gf die ta dress up mengikut selera die.. Whats the point bukan??
- I loike you because ur existence made me felt safe. I ingat lagi mase kt eksperimen na try nek komuter sesama g kl. So happen, komuter broke down until kol 2pg kt terpaksa tunggu bersesak2 dgn beratus manusia yg laen termasuk laki2 indon& bangla. U berusaha carikan i tmpt duduk, n protect i. Sungguh i rasa sgt selamat disamping u. Wpun kt berdua ader kat tmpt gelap n mencurigakan ke, u ta penah amek kesempatan atas i or buat benda yg i ta ske. U sangat menjaga maruah i. U said, "i ta kan rosakkan org yg i sayang". Its true, boyf/hubby supposed to be our pelindung bukan perosak.
- I loike ur sense of romanticness. Maybe ramai orang yang tatau, rantai N & rantai S yang kt pake ni idea u.. Tade la i yg hati kering ni na come out with such ideas.. Ingat lagi camne u beria-ria na beli necklace itu. Sampai skrg pon u rajin pegi cuci, i je yg ta penah cuci. Kt buat ceremony pake rantai dkt tepi tasik metropolitan :) Da setahun pake tp ta penah skali pon u bkk rantai tu, Mase kt break sebulan ni n kua as a friend, i nmpk u still pake, sdgkn di sebalik tudung i, sbnrnya i da bkk. Im sorry :( Tp skrg da pake blk da :)
- I loike your determination a lot. Satu sebab utama i pilih u is bcos u bukan lyke those rich brats yg cuma tau banje gf gune duit makbapak. Mase u br grad, u blum dpt keje tp demi untuk bwk i kua dating, u sanggup kutip kelapa n jual sbb na cr duit bwk i kua dating every week. Bapak i ta kasi i naek moto, u sanggup beli keta semata-mata untuk keselesaan i n supaya ta perlu na pinjam keta ngan abg u everytime na bwk i kua date. Ble company lame u bankrup, u menganggur lg. I ingat u ta mampu bayar keta tu, Tp tanpa mintak sesen pon dr org laen, u wat keje partime sana sini, jd helper kat bengkel, jual kelapa sawit, cat umah,jual sayur n mcm2 lagi... sampai u mampu kumpul RM600 untuk byr keta ciap banje i mkn lagi. Sungguh i sgt kagum!! Alhamdulillah u skrg pon da dpt keje kat Hartalega. Comp bsr camni insyallah ta kn bankrup. Tapi kalo u jatuh skali lg, i percaya susah cemana pon u ttp mampu bg i mkn dengan kesungguhan u :)
- I loike it when u always fulfilled all my demands. Wpun da pukul12mlm, i na mkn ikan bakar kat tepi laut, u ikutkan je, ta penah sekali pon merungut layan kerenah i. Sanggup bangun kul 6pg sbb na belikan nasi lemak fav i yg kul 7pg da sold out tu. Tbe2 kepingin na mkn charkueyteow kat hujung dunia pon u bwk. Hantar pizza fav i ble i tgh stress study kat kolej. Makan nandos tayah cite la.. Kalo u baru gaji, u akan suh i pilih je ape yg i nak kat mall tu, hasilnye, kalo difikirkan wpun u ta kaya cam org laen tp hadiah yg u belikan tuk i selama setahun ni, kalo campur2 cash tu da bole wat downpayment keta myvi. Tp paling i sayang tentulah, Pingu :)
- I loike it when u felt proud to have me as your girl. Kadar tahap yang kalo bole na canang satu kampung. Na bagitau sume orang. Dpn makcik2 n kekazens pon na mintak makan suap and na suap i makan. I malu oke.... :p Dpn kekawan tayah cite la... I ingat lagi cemane i stres sgt mase kt memula kapel sbb orang kate i perampas boyf kwn. U ciap kol ex-gf u ckp "sabya bukan perampas, niazha yg terhegeh-hegeh na kat die". U ciap na wat banner lg, supaya made things clear & tade sape brani na buli i lagi
- I loike it when u ta penah missed cium tgn i. Macamne truk kt gaduh pon, wpun pada tahap yg i da ta ingin na toleh muka u pon, b4 i blk mesti u akn tarik n kiss tgn i. I felt annoyed at first, tapi lelame it felts so significants bcos starting from our first date u have done it without failed. Dulu i slalu kutuk org yg salam boyf die. Cam tah pape. Bagi i salam tu tanda hormat, tp dgn u kalo i salam tadelah rase mcm i tunduk pada lelaki sbb u mmg automatically akn salam n cium tgn i blk:)
You know i can go on and on and on without a dot.... But lets reserved & keep the rest to ourselves okay . Its okay if the rest of the world against us, all we need to do is to have faith in each other and everything will be just fine. ILYSM Niazha Abas :)
