Agitation

Countless events that happened belatedly still shaking me up from my comfort zone - I am in a daze because the realizations that hit me hard in the guts from each junctures are still running in my head at all times.

I meet people all the time and sometimes they like to talk about things that make me feel sceptical about their conscience. I am very suspicious of every word that comes out from their mouths - why are you all doing this?

I hate to have to doubt my friends - when I call you my friend, it really means I trust you whole heartedly and you do not talk behind my back. Bad stuff, you fuckers. Well, unquestionably you may but never let me find out. Ever, my friend.

I also have a friend talking shits about her very close friend to me over lunch - how do I trust you to be mine? I know I am nowhere near pristine but I don't do my friends like that. I have a reputation to uphold and surely I always try my utmost best to advocate my integrity.

Then again, there are those little things that really build up lifetime friendships. To just name a few - sincerity, honesty, truthfulness that comes from the heart, mutual respect for each other, being considerate and modest. In short - say what you mean and mean what you say... in addition, please do inject in lotsa sense of humour. This is vital I kid you not.

Not everything in the world can be valued by monetary terms. I can never doubt its importance but do it appropriately. When you meet a friend in the street and all you can think of are ways to get money... you're so screwed. When you attempt to keep in touch with old friends again, just to think of more ways to make money out of them... you're so fucked up. And if you think what you're doing are just good favors and ways to HELP them to gain more money... haha, fuck you.

When you see less and less of your friends appearing in your life, please know that something is not right. When you see the friends in your IM programs never get online anymore, please know that something is really wrong. When your friends go out with you because you begged them to, please know you're done - done your job in driving them outta your life. Well done.

- to be continued -