Suicide

Hating your life like crazy and want to end it all, just like that? Come over to SuicideRUs! We specialize in easy self-shock wall plugs, unbreakable hangman nooses,

and Carbon Monoxide inhalers to make your suicide attempt so much easier.

Other fantastic products include plastic bags (suffocate yourself, can be easily torn just in case you forgot to feed the cat),

for those who love a clean decapitation with a messy end, a variety of highly sharpened weapons including:

Axes

Machetes

Rapiers

Kitchen knives, sickles, butcher knives, Grim Reaper scythes and so on.

We also hold regular training programs to educate you on the fastest, easiest, most daring and most glamorous methods of suicide. How to attract the largest crowd before jumping? 10 best places to drown yourself. Jump in front of a moving train! Course participants will receive a copy of our "Potent Concoctions", a recipe book of permanent pain-killing beverages.

We have yet to receive complaints regarding the performance of our products and services thus far; our customers have been completely satisfied with our products and services.

The following are testimonials from our users, or people who have witnessed the effectiveness of our products:

"Dude, he was just suckin' on that freakin' puffin' thing. He just fuckin' died, man." - Brad Tipp, on the performance of the CO inhaler.

"I love your plastic bag. The concept is just genius! I managed to rip it off my head just in time. I'd forgotten to order someone to feed my pet hamster, Rhi-ha-no." - Susan Boozan.

"I was on, like, the most romantic date with Colonel Sanders at A&W, and when i came home i saw Ronald lying there, like, totally dead, with his middle finger stuck into the wall plug. I was like, oh my freakin' gawwd, and i, like, totally freaked out, and i took off in Carl Jr's car." - Wendy McDonald, on her husband's effective usage of the easy self-shock wall plug.

Evidently, our products all effectively serve their purposes. Visit SuicideRUs today. It's suicide made easy.