X- massss

Sigh. It's the holiday season. Already.

And now that i think of it, if i hadn't withdrawn from the tour, i would be in Taiwan right now. But then again... It's a "study tour", which means lots of fake smiles, lots of mingling with strangers and heaps of other things that i don't wanna do. Yeah. Rationalize!

I don't know why but i have this inconceivable Christmassy mood. I feelike guzzling something hot by the tree (not that i have a tree la, but, u know la, hor...). I think it's the frigid weather brought about by the seemingly endless pissing-down of rain these days. WTF! It just rained. The whole doggone day. Drizzles, to mild showers, to thunderous pouring, back to drizzles, and even milder drizzles, and then moderate showers. It ain't stopping any time soon...

Cold weather puts me right into hibernation mode. It's fantastic. I'll pop chips in my computer chair and watch some drama, and next thing you know i'm plunging into the cool cool cool embrace of my sheets and pillows.  And some 8-9 hours just disappear. :D

And speaking of drama, am watching Canto crime-police drama Gun Metal Grey right now. I don't usually watch Canto dramas, but the Euro-American section of PPS was recently removed for maintenance (the horror!) so i couldn't continue my CSI obsession. So now i'm seeking solace in its Cantonese counterpart.

Had some steamboat at Brown Bear's the other day with the rest of the gang and it was quite fun. Now i'm craving for a barbeque party. All sis's fault. Evil woman. She was telling me about the barbeque party she'd gone to that rocked her stomach. Bacon asparagus rolls. Giant sausages. Marinated... aw.. marinated grilled stuff. There's just no way it could go wrong, can it? Damn!!!

Madness

What happens to the human brain when we sleep? It's baffling. I'm sure there are buttloads of psychiatric / psychological research papers around but i couldn't be arsed to read them.

Y'see. Sometimes i can wake up from deep sleep to groggily answer my dad's pesky inane phonecalls, and then make a follow-up phone call to my mum to tell her dad's looking for her. And when i wake up i had no recollections of any of that happening, until i saw my phone list.

Some days i can dream and dream about loads of stuff, and next day, can't remember anything despite my very best efforts to delve into the deep recesses of my memory. All i'm left with is a certain feeling or sensation like euphoria or slight bitter-tinged sadness, or this nagging worry, or something. Some mental sensory trigger or whatever. Don't even know if i'm making sense...

Then some dreams are just so vivid i can describe them with great detail. Like the short fall down a skyscraper that ends up with my leg kicking out in reflex. Or one in which i was eating cone sundaes and drinking coke (awesome, awesome dream). And then there are the weird ones, like the one i'm gonna describe now

V. wtf sorta dream. I dreamt that sis came home with the Putra, so i took the keys to drive off to my ball session. When i opened the door i saw that instead of a Putra, the car she drove home was in fact some... Waja-esque car, slightly lower, flatter Waja with more rounded edges. Bright white, and on the bonnet *horror* a sort of Malaysian flag design with reds and blues and yellows and holy shit it was hideous!!

Directly underneath the primary colours was this... ice-cream cone shaped (like when u fold those kertas turas into quarters and u get a cone shape?) dark blue glass panel with turquoise LED displays noting the time and date. 

Inside, the only thing i noted was the radio... Not that it was a radio. It was 2 old school computer speakers, with those plasticky round dials that u can turn turn turn to adjust the volume. Yeah that! In a car! The only thing i remember after that, in my dream la, was how ridiculous i felt driving such a weird ass car to the court... So yeah... Unfathomable dream.

***

Anyway speaking of sleeping, it's about time i hit the sack. Have got an aptitude test tomorrow at IBM! Yeah. Just an entrance test but i need to ace it! My dream company didn't respond to any of my applications (yet! please, let it be yet!) so i thought i might as well settle with an aptitude test at IBM first. So, all the best to myself, and nights~!

DUKA

The street cafe, Korean street food. Okelah kalo na makan nasi korea = nasi malaya, ramen, miso soup, kimchi, pancake, bbq stick etc. Hari ini hari paling sedih sedih sedih dalam hidup. Dapat 2 berita yang menyedihkan. Satu mengguris hati satu lagi mengecewakan habis. Umpama lepas jatuh longkang tiba-tiba kena simbah dengan air basuh pinggan kedai mamak 24jam. Sumpah sedih, tana ingat apa yang berlaku, TUTUP BUKU. Tapi percaya pada diri banyak hikmah yang manis disebalik semua dugaan. Looking forward to fixing my life for a better tomorrow. I believe if there's a will, there's always a way.. InsyALLAH.

New

I'm bored. Which is nothing new. I think i need a vacation. Yes, need. Not because i want to go places before i start work, but a need to go somewhere fun and puffy-clouded and cheery to let go of some steam. I think i carry too much weight on my shoulders, by default choice. 

I've never been good at sharing my feelings with people coz nobody likes being burdened by sob stories. So whenever i face problems or distress i'll just suck things up but i think i'm about to collapse from excessive up-sucking of things... Been feeling so crazily emotional and on-verge-of-mental-breakdown these days wtffff -_-" 

WTF is this... Quarter life crisis at 21. God...

I've begun applying for jobs, but so far no response. I am sincerely hoping that i can somehow squeeze my way into P&G.. My dream company. The position i'd applied for was an entry-level one but woahhh i was stunned to see the job scope. Demanding, and infinitely challenging. Which is just the right kick in the butt that i need. If i'm hired (dear god, angels, and seraphims and all of you fellers in heaven plssssssss shower me with blessings i need them now!!!) i'll definitely rise up to the challenge!!!

Anyway. Christmas is right round the corner, and i don't celebrate but i'm looking forward to some party or gathering of some sort. Just to get away from things, and have a little bit of fun.

Salam Hijrah

1431 Hijrah might be a downturn year for me as i go through the saddest phase in my life. Breaking up is just like having the worst nightmare after having the best dream. Somehow i thank Allah for open my eyes. The moment that i saw the girl that makes my life miserable, i laugh to myself. I have wasted so much time feeling intimidated by a girl that does not worth to fight with. All i see in her is a hideous ugleeyh dark chubby short stupid girl who will do whatever it takes in desperate of having a boyfriend. How pathetic. I knew he got taste and she is just soo out of range. He doesnt loves her. Everyone knows that. He is just make used of her, she is not a SECOND GIRL after me, she is not even a SECOND CHOICE, she is just a SECOND SPARE PART. I knew she stalks me all the time because she felt insecured. Yes she should, because until today her damn fuggin boyfie text and ring me every single day for god sake!! I knew she will be reading this, i dont mind. And girl, thanks for licking my saliva. You can pick away my trash. My pleasure. And please stop copycat me. Sorry you are not even close. Get a life fugly slut!! You should be proud that im blogging about you because this would be the last before i make a BIG FULLSTOP. Aku harap kau tak bodoh sangat untuk paham, ke na aku translate bahasa jawa?? FULLSTOP. Goodbye 1431 Hijrah

Welcome 1432 Hijrah. First of all i dont hold grudges to anybody. I forgive and forget. I am nice if you are nice to me. I just wanna say how grateful i am to have such a blissful family, beautiful circle of true friends and a very very very loving cinta :) Sometimes i felt ashamed to Allah because i was given a very wonderful life. Allah always remembered me thou i always negligence HIM. Shame on me. I was given a blissful family with a great parents and we live at ease. I have a beautiful circle of friends, they are not many but the small number of them completed me. I have a very very very loving cinta that keep me going and the strength of the reason why i woke up every morning. See, my life is completed. I dont tend to ask for more but i hope everything can be retain in place for the rest of my life. Somehow i do have resolutions for the year ahead to be a good muslim, to work hard and succeed in my career, to loved and to be loved. Amin. P/S : I Love You Aby :)

KLIMS

Kuala Lumpur International Motor Show.Entry fee MYR20. Student price MYR5. Venue PWTC. Lelaki kalau dah tengok pompuan seksi, HIDUP!! Ferari kat sebelah pon tak sedar.

PARIS 2010

This vacation has listed down few thing that i had ever experience for the first time...

• 13 hours long flight without parents
• Given a driver and attache
• Since ayah has his own riders, i felt how was it like to be escorted
• Drove thru inside the tunnel that killed Princess Diana
• Tasted the best bakery ever with the countless types of bread
• In love with the 1800 castle dinner ballroom. Amazing dance floor i must say!!
• Staring at the real masterpiece of monalisa by da vinci
• Does not wear a makeup at all during the vacation
• After using my imitate MYR10 Guess wallet for years, i bought myself a new expensive original brand new wallet
• Enjoy Disneyland compared to before
• Send a msg to my bimbo and it cost me MYR7.
• Experienced to wear my in the dreams Tiffany Co. diamond ring for 30 seconds
• Step into the 3 storey LV boutique and promise to herself that one day she would come here again and bought herself an LV handbag to be the thorn among the roses of her countless handbag collection at home
• And the list goes on....