Emo

suddenly i got this urge to write or rather... to type. but now i don't even know where to start. so, let's just begin with my working life. I'm in a new job again due to parental objection to the previous one.

i wudn't say this new job is boring. its HR anyway. it's the field i looked forward to joining prior to my graduation. but i wont deny that i miss the books. i miss the smell of new books... flipping thru the pages. ahh... the sense of satisfaction.

i miss talking to tens of customers a day. it feels good to be able to provide good service to them and at the end of the day, collect and sleep with the compliments showered on me during the day...


"thanks so much Miss, you made my day"

"hey thank you. appreciate your help"

"oh wow, you're good. can i get your name so i can look for you the next time im here?"

"bookstores should hire more people like you... passionate and compassionate"


i miss most of the colleagues. i miss their jokes and laughter. i miss their cooperation and affection.

i miss walking around the outlet with a pen knife in the back pocket...

i miss browsing thru each and every book on the shelves during my free time...


but seriously, i gotta be frank... the colleagues i was working with for the past few months was part of the reason i left. we, the management trainees were not being respected by our more experienced subordinates. we are actually ranked second after the department head but we were treated like fools. and the politics they played in the office drove me to the edge.

we were not given authority in the job and we cant make any decisions without asking for permissions. how are we supposed to show our capabilities when we are not empowered to make decisions and without being dependent? i don't wanna mention names here but many times the far more experienced subordinates managed to drive me up the wall. i don't know about the rest but i cannot stand their mental retardation level at all.

btw, you talk to customers with a smile... not a smirk, you fools!

the manager asked me to stay. counter offer. said she would transfer me to the Queensbay's outlet if distance is my main concern. i still cudnt bring myself to tell her about my experience in these three months' time. she even asked me to go back if my new job doesn't suits me.

and, my parents was not happy with my previous working hours. sigh. what am i supposed to do? im happy and yet unhappy at the same time. i wanna stay and yet dont wanna stay.

as for my new job, today's my second day. keeping my fingers crossed. bosses are nice, colleagues are okay... hvnt really get to know them yet, get to online and chat during working hours, food are dirt cheap, toilet papers are provided (LOL!), the free lanyard is really cool etc. the only thing lacked is the friends part. im basically still all alone at the new place. well, gonna pray hard tis will turned out well.

...

as for my private life, nth much to update. i still miss the fella but that heart breaking phase is over i guess. tears only flows freely once in awhile. memories still linger vividly in my mind. many nights i dreamt of the days when we were one. i still miss you...

family's good. with my normal office hour job right now, i get to spend more quality time with them. doing everything together... dim sum, watch tv, dinner, shopping, supper etc. it's all good, really.

all in all, it's weird. never in my life i feel like tis before. it's total confusion. i dont know what's missing in my life. hmm, my best bet... "a person". haha.

i need more money lah. i wanna go for holidays. one different country each year. but how?!