Let's discuss trauma. 1 day after Christmas i was taking a nap having this mind-boggling dream which i can't remember when i felt this horrible sensation of insect legs moving from my neck to the side of my face. Instinctively i snatched whatever it was and flung it across the room where it landed with a thud, followed with light scratchy scuttling sound.
And i knew. Probably it was the stink it emitted in my hand. Perhaps it was the scuttling sound it made. Or the skin-crawling sensation (literally) it gave me. It was a freakin' cockroach. A cockroach crawling on the side of my face.
It was horrendous! I flew to the bathroom and scrubbed my face ferociously (yes, ferocious. secara ganas) with soap for what felt like hours, then i rinsed it off and repeated the process once more. Whoever invented the phrase rinse and repeat must have had pests running across their bodies before.
I bet it's the same cockroach. All the doors and windows in my house are installed with this netting to keep the mosquitoes from flying in. So some time ago i saw this cockroach on the netting of my door. Grabbing the closest can resembling an insect killer, i spritzed hairspray on the creature. Once, twice, and it flew at me with its shiny brown wings. I ducked, and it escaped. So it was getting even for getting a blast of hairspray.
Anyway after the cockroach-on-face incident i had a can of Ridsect on my table ready to murder the little critter when it made its move. And so its downfall came in the form of an accidental-improvised trap comprising of a plastic bag with a Ramlee burger wrapper within. So when i heard a rustling sound i rushed over with my Ridsect, went psst psst psst and the cockroach sorta pengsaned and i tied the plastic bag and chucked it into the garbage.
Dammit, my room is attracting cockroaches, and it's kinda hard not to as am always eating. Just this morning I saw yet another large one on the floor right under my aircond switch so i grabbed my pre-equipped Ridsect and gave it a head-on four-second spray. Instantly it was on its back kicking its hairy legs energetically. And yeah, it didn't die so i sprayed it again but it kept struggling until its last vestiges of life ebbed away.
Roaches have such impressive survivability. I mean, suppose a giant spammed a giant can of poisonous gas on me for four seconds, i think i would have died straight away. The cockroach still managed to kick its legs for quite some time. If you pulled out 5 legs from a cockroach it will still struggle with its remaining one until it died. This is survival instinct, no? Something some humans lack of.
Oof. And now my room reeks of Ridsect. Which is why am using this Green Meadows air freshener which is supposed to give a "light, country-crisp scent" which is just bollocks as it smells like any other lemony dish soap.
Simple. LoL. I've always had this long-winded problem since SPM during which students were expected to spew out 10-line paragraphs of ornate, flowery sentences (Answers.com calls this purple prose) that made absolutely no sense, just to describe simple things such as the scenery, or a car crash.
I used to annoy Fish who loved to describe a sunrise as "the golden phoenix from the east rose majestically above the trees... and bla bla bla... and the sky turned crimson/tangerine/rose-colour whatever". Each time he wrote that line i would say that his freakin' phoenix was setting fire to the trees. XD
My long-windedness was sorta diminished when i had Heko as my English teacher as she was an editor. She mercilessly slashed off line upon line of my essays "aiyo! why are you so long-winded?" Then came Mr. Tall Tan who wanted stuff, instead of just lines of flowery nonsense, not that i wrote his essays anyway. Those months of "where is your thesis statement?" and "what's your point?" kinda got to me, and i find myself frantically searching whatever i write for a thesis statement or scratching out useless sentences.
Still, sometimes i still wish i was still at Leela's english class, spewing out nonsense without giving a damn about thesis statements. Yes sometimes.
And i knew. Probably it was the stink it emitted in my hand. Perhaps it was the scuttling sound it made. Or the skin-crawling sensation (literally) it gave me. It was a freakin' cockroach. A cockroach crawling on the side of my face.
Fuck.
It was horrendous! I flew to the bathroom and scrubbed my face ferociously (yes, ferocious. secara ganas) with soap for what felt like hours, then i rinsed it off and repeated the process once more. Whoever invented the phrase rinse and repeat must have had pests running across their bodies before.
I bet it's the same cockroach. All the doors and windows in my house are installed with this netting to keep the mosquitoes from flying in. So some time ago i saw this cockroach on the netting of my door. Grabbing the closest can resembling an insect killer, i spritzed hairspray on the creature. Once, twice, and it flew at me with its shiny brown wings. I ducked, and it escaped. So it was getting even for getting a blast of hairspray.
Anyway after the cockroach-on-face incident i had a can of Ridsect on my table ready to murder the little critter when it made its move. And so its downfall came in the form of an accidental-improvised trap comprising of a plastic bag with a Ramlee burger wrapper within. So when i heard a rustling sound i rushed over with my Ridsect, went psst psst psst and the cockroach sorta pengsaned and i tied the plastic bag and chucked it into the garbage.
Dammit, my room is attracting cockroaches, and it's kinda hard not to as am always eating. Just this morning I saw yet another large one on the floor right under my aircond switch so i grabbed my pre-equipped Ridsect and gave it a head-on four-second spray. Instantly it was on its back kicking its hairy legs energetically. And yeah, it didn't die so i sprayed it again but it kept struggling until its last vestiges of life ebbed away.
Roaches have such impressive survivability. I mean, suppose a giant spammed a giant can of poisonous gas on me for four seconds, i think i would have died straight away. The cockroach still managed to kick its legs for quite some time. If you pulled out 5 legs from a cockroach it will still struggle with its remaining one until it died. This is survival instinct, no? Something some humans lack of.
Oof. And now my room reeks of Ridsect. Which is why am using this Green Meadows air freshener which is supposed to give a "light, country-crisp scent" which is just bollocks as it smells like any other lemony dish soap.
***
So anyway, my above long-winded post can be simply summarized as: A cockroached crawled on my face. I killed it afterwards. Four days later I killed another.Simple. LoL. I've always had this long-winded problem since SPM during which students were expected to spew out 10-line paragraphs of ornate, flowery sentences (Answers.com calls this purple prose) that made absolutely no sense, just to describe simple things such as the scenery, or a car crash.
I used to annoy Fish who loved to describe a sunrise as "the golden phoenix from the east rose majestically above the trees... and bla bla bla... and the sky turned crimson/tangerine/rose-colour whatever". Each time he wrote that line i would say that his freakin' phoenix was setting fire to the trees. XD
My long-windedness was sorta diminished when i had Heko as my English teacher as she was an editor. She mercilessly slashed off line upon line of my essays "aiyo! why are you so long-winded?" Then came Mr. Tall Tan who wanted stuff, instead of just lines of flowery nonsense, not that i wrote his essays anyway. Those months of "where is your thesis statement?" and "what's your point?" kinda got to me, and i find myself frantically searching whatever i write for a thesis statement or scratching out useless sentences.
Still, sometimes i still wish i was still at Leela's english class, spewing out nonsense without giving a damn about thesis statements. Yes sometimes.
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